Jude. This angry little pseudepigraphical mistake of a letter inspires only heresy-hunters. It offers a terrible reading of Sodom & Gomorrah, some nonsense about angels, a cacophony of mixed metaphors, and its only message is “lets all play orthodoxy police!” Jude gives license to a purity cult of the mind, a religious thought-police that we would be well rid of.
Aric stole my first answer, which was Jude. Poor Jude.
I’m tempted to say I would like to cut passages that people think are in the canon, like God helps those who help themselves, or God never gives you anything you can’t handle, or the nonexistent passage where it says that the Bible is literally the words of God. I think what I would cut, though, is every instance where “Logos” is translated as “word.” Not only is “word” not a very good translation for Logos (a term that goes back in Greek philosophy at least as far as Heraclitus), but it leads to this massive confusion where people think that “the Word of God” is the Bible, which is idolatry. The Word of God, the Logos of God, is Jesus. The Bible is a book of collected writings about God (sometimes tangentially).
I almost feel like I need to say Jude, just to make it 3 for 3 (although I’m not one to defend Jude either).
For me it’s got to be the so called “Texts of Terror.” I would slash and burn my way through all those stories in the historical books of the Hebrew Bible that describe God as commanding his people to slaughter groups of men, women and children and “show them no mercy.” It often does much more harm than good to read these texts. Especially to invite people to read these texts in conjunction with people’s thoughts about the “word” of God (thanks Doug). So given the chance, I want to cut the genocidal texts like Joshua, where the face reading is God commanding the slaughter of “all that breathes.” Yep, basically passages that seem to condone Elisha’s curse and that God sent bears to maul children.